If you’re still working on accessing your mediumship abilities, the topic of today’s blog post is going to sound like one of those “good problems to have”. Not every medium has this problem of course, but a lot do and I never hear anyone talk about what to do about it. So once I figured it out for myself, I knew I needed to tell others.
So, the problem of which I speak is when you find yourself connecting with a spirit early, well ahead of your scheduled reading. When I first started out giving readings, I would find myself connecting with the spirit hours ahead of time. I would also connect so strongly that I would feel physically ill and sometimes I would even find myself trembling. Basically, I would be consumed and not really able to do anything else until the reading finally took place. This wasn’t necessarily a problem at first because I might only give two readings a week, but I knew that if I got busier, it just wouldn’t be possible.
The first thing I needed to figure out was why was this happening in the first place. I talked before how it seems like time works differently on the other side. Sometimes spirits will mention something that hasn’t happened yet, but they’ll talk about it as if it has already happened, so clearly they aren’t always perfectly synched up with the timeline here. For a long time this was my theory for why they were connecting early. But as I kept giving readings I came to realize that actually it was me doing it. I had a couple of experiences where I would see the email alert that someone had booked a mediumship reading and I would find myself immediately connected with a spirit for them. I was essentially summoning the spirit early so I could connect when I was feeling relaxed and not under pressure.
I think my biggest fear was that I would sit down to do a reading, try to connect, and nothing would happen. We’ve all had that experience where we felt so much pressure we froze. I would have never made myself available to give readings if there was any possibility of that happening, so there wasn’t. I was unconsciously connecting with the spirit early so that if worse came to worse, I already had a bunch of information I could draw upon.
This is problematic for a lot of different reasons. Just in terms of practicality, you’re tying up hours of your time just to do a 30 or 60 minute reading. That’s not sustainable. The other problem is that you really need the sitter to be present in order to complete the loop with their spirit-person. Without the sitter present, you can still get that evidential mediumship but you wont get the spirit’s message. Oftentimes the message is what’s really key to a reading and you’re not going to get it without the sitter, because end-of-the-day the spirit doesn’t really want to talk to you. They want to talk to the sitter. And finally, I just don’t think it’s good to be wasting so much time connecting to the spirit world. We’re meant to be embracing life here on Earth, not living in a fog half the time.
Now that I knew what was happening, I needed to decide that I didn’t want to connect early anymore. I switched to a new mediumship development circle (to give myself a fresh start) and set the intention with my guides that I would not connect until right then and there. I state a quick prayer at the start of the reading to signal that now if the time to connect:
Angels, Spirits, Guides, please help me to connect with a spirit person for ________. Please allow me to connect completely and accurately and to help me to get out of the way for the reading. Angels, Spirits, Guides, please help me.
And the second I complete the prayer, images and what have you start flooding in, but not before. I also don’t have such a strong connection that I feel sick and uncomfortable anymore. That was another thing I realized that I was doing because my self-confidence was so low that I essentially needed that super-strong connection in order to trust that I was truly connected. Once again, I told my guides “I don’t want to connect like that anymore”, and once I really meant it, it stopped.
Now here’s the thing, a big part of this is being willing to take risks. Basically, I had to get over myself and be okay with bombing readings in order to improve my skills. That is what your mediumship circle is for. It’s for you to practice new things and mess up amongst your fellow peers. Anytime you try to learn something new, you’re going to mess it up. We accept this about everything except for mediumship. We put so much pressure on ourselves to become supernatural rather than accept that we are human beings that need to make mistakes in order to learn.
After I put it out there to my guides that I wanted to only connect during the reading, it did take me several months to get used to this new way of doing readings. In the end though, it was definitely worth it and I feel much more relaxed and confident with my mediumship. I do still set aside time each day for my spiritual practice and am finding that that has a big impact on the quality of my readings that day. Sincerity and intention is proving to be far more important to the success of my readings rather than over-preparing for them.